Let’s talk about Love Money
Ponder that for a moment: If you want to stay happily coupled, you need to talk about your finances. Since you and your partner have chosen to be together, you probably already see eye to eye al all of life’s moral, material, recreational and economical issues.
If only.
Few, if any, twosomes agree on all life’s joint decisions. At the extreme, well, you’ve heard how it goes. The more you talk (Rationally, please!) about finances, the richer you’ll be.
Resolve to do things differently. à just because you and your partner have had difficulty with money discussions before doesn’t mean you can’t make progress now. Bring a does of optimism along with your resolutions. What will you discuss?
Consider the following
- Your big financial goals
- Creating a budget both of you can live with
- Where you can cut back on spending
- What may tempt you to break the budget
Set a date à Pick the settings for your Money Talk. Then decide on a reward that you would like to share when you’re done with your first Big Money talk.
Make an emergency relationship repair kit à Take a box and place inside it items that will help you get over a spat with your spouse. You may want to include coupons for eating out, a pair of movie tickets, some old love letters, a poem, a book of jokes, or your wedding photos.
Set your ground rules:
- Agree to try
- Accept equal responsibility for changing your lives.
- Don’t play the blame game.
- Be honest
- Take a break if the conversation turns heated and unproductive.
Use the “Getting in the mood (For a Money Talk)” worksheet to pt down on paper your commitment to a productive money conversation. If the conversation becomes heated, cool down. Review the ground rules, them set a follow-up date to talk. And don’t use this rule as an excuse to avoid tough topics.
Have you and your spouse fill out the following then compair together at the end!
Getting in the Mood (For a Money Talk)
Date:
Setting:
Refreshments:
Reward:
Emergency Relationship Repair Kit Contents:
Group Rules
(As a first step towards compromise, take turns proposing rules.)
- ____
- ____
- ____
- ____
- ____
- Who is responsible for balancing the checkbook?
- Who is the long-term planner?
- when was the last time you make financial whoopee? Or at least talked about your finances?
- On a scale of 1 to 5 (1 is “Not very” and 5 is “very”) How important is it that you and your partner:
________Cut coupons
________ Go to the gas station with the lowest prices
________ Rent videos instead of going to the movies
________ Comparison shop
- How much is too much to spend:
________ On going out to dinner?
________ without talking to your partner first?
________ On gifts (for each other, for children, for relatives and friends)?
________ On vacation?
- If you inherited $10,000, it would be most important to:
- Pay off debt
- Buy a new car
- Invest the money
- Take a vacation
- Thro an awesome party for your relatives so that they can see what a great niece, granddaughter, and 19th cousin you are?
- If your spouse’s money personality were a superhero, which superhero would it be?
- when do you expect to buy your next car? Will it be used or new? What kind?
- What are your top three long-term financial goals?
- Harry Patter vs. Spider –man. Discuss.
Results:
Now it’s time to take your financial temperature. As you compare answers, note where you agreed and disagreed.
- Were you able to get through the first 5 questions without having an argument? Congratulations! You two could put the “gold” in golden years.
- Did you laugh some, cry some, yell a little bit? You’re communication, all right. The “Getting in the Mood” worksheet can help you and your partner to find less volatile ways to get fiscally fit.
- Was your financial whoopee less satisfying than you’d hoped? Don’t give up. Stick with it.
Information by:
Dayana Yochim
Money Manager Digest for you!